Can you control winning and losing?

The effectiveness of how you coach and develop people largely depends on how you answer this question: Can you control winning and losing?

The effectiveness of how you coach and develop people largely depends on how you answer this question:

Can you control winning and losing?

You can't. Wrong you say? If you could control winning or losing, then wouldn't you win every single time? You can't control winning and losing because they are outcomes. You can't control outcomes. You can actively manage towards them, but you can't control them.

If you get this wrong when you're developing people, you're focused on the wrong things with them.

The core of effective coaching is helping people see and act on what's controllable. "Control the controllables" is what my college tennis coach would say when I get frustrated by circumstances.

There are only three things you can control:

1. Your attitude

You can choose the posture you have with your work, team, and circumstances. How you choose to respond is entirely up to you. How you show up every day is in your control. If you show up consistently with the right posture and perspective, you'll have a higher chance of getting the outcomes you want.

2. Your effort

You can control how much and the kind of effort you put into something. You have to show up and do the work, but you also have to do the work with intention. Effort gets a bad rap because most people, including me, fall into the trap of putting in a lot of "blood, sweat and tears" into something, but did you make progress? The right effort always makes progress, even if it's miniscule.

3. Your skills

You have a say in the skills you choose to develop. The level of skill you attain depends on many factors that you may not control (think running and jumping) but you can choose what you can develop. I have a believe that most people can become proficient in most skills in the workplace. They may not find mastery, but enough to contribute. This may take a lot of time, but it's in your control.

The biggest benefit of coaching your people towards the controllables is creating a bias for action. By focusing on what people can control, you have the ability to create motion. With enough motion in an attempt to go forward, you will find progress. And with enough progress over time, success is a probable outcome.

What do you think about controlling outcomes?