stain [steyn] -noun: a cause of reproach; stigma; blemish: a stain on one’s reputation.
Those in leadership will know that the role of being a leader can bring out the best in you and sometimes bring out those character traits that aren’t so good. Here are some of my character stains:
- Over Analytical – yea, so I went to Georgia Tech and pretty much everyone is over analytical there (but they make great engineers, but not so good leaders). You give me a riddle and I tell you how that riddle isn’t possible because you said the word “this” instead of “that”. This is my first reaction to things. It leaves people bitter about talking to you. It pushes people away. You become unapproachable.
- Know-It-All Questions – too often I find myself asking a question I already know the answer to. Why do I do that? Insecurities as a leader always trying to stay in control. Trying to ask questions to get people to think the way I think. This one leaves people demoralized. It pushes people down.
- Mr. Handyman – when people come to me with problems my first reaction is to think of a fix. Come to me with relationship problems? I’ll give you 5 ways to improve your relationship…right. I blame this one on testosterone and the lack of empathy. Thanks to my wife (who is awesomely compassionate and empathetic) I’ve been able to improve in this area, but it’s still a thorn in my side. People don’t share their problems with you so that you can come up with a solution. They want you to feel their pain. Carry their burdens and you will life people up. Giving people a fix will leave them feeling stranded.
- Insensitive Multitasking – I am such a do’er and a poor listener that I’ll sit there often times trying to get stuff done while someone is talking to me. Why can’t I just stop what I’m doing the moment people talk to me? Is what I’m doing really more important than the person talking to me? This is one of the fastest ways to shut someone out.
- Interrupting Arrogance – it is what it is. When you interrupt someone, what you’re basically saying is that what I have to say is more important what you have to say. That is arrogant and prideful. Boy, I’ve become pretty good at this over the years. At least now it makes me mad when I catch myself doing it. This is one of the best ways to make someone angry or in turn not listen to you.
Why am I putting all these things in the open? First, I’m sorry about these thing I do that is not a reflection of God’s character. Second, because I desperately need the help of the people around me to keep me accountable. It’s not like I’m saying anything new to the people who already know me (especially those I have the privilege of leading).
Let me tell you about the grace of God…His blood washes your stains and makes you white as snow…
I found myself humbled while I was browsing around the social media sites. I’ve got a blog, a Facebook page, a Twitter profile, and coutless other social media accounts and profiles. You know what they all have in common? Me. When I came to that realization, I was humbled by God. You see all these profiles in a way represent my deep self-centeredness and the sin of selfishness. It was all about what I’m doing, what I’m thinking, where I’m at, what I’m reading, and what I’m interested in. So the question that God asked me was, “are you making a name for yourself or making a name for Me?”